The On-Line Web-Site of the Worthington Tree Phone

Frequently Asked Questions (F.A.Q.)

• what is this?

this is a tree phone.

• what is a tree phone?

this is.

• why is it here?

that is too existential to answer, but thank you for the question

Brief history of the Tree Phone:

• 2019 : tree phone v1 installed on findley avenue in clintonville.
• January 4, 2021 : tree phone v1 removed and moved to masefield street in worthington.
• January 2021 : tree phone v2 installed along olentangy trail mulch path.
• September 2021 : tree phone v1 removed by worthington parks and rec due to citizen complaint.
• September 2021 : tree phone v3 installed but removed by worthington parks and rec in same day, showcasing remarkable efficiency and underdeveloped sense of whimsy.
• 2021 : emails and phone calls exchanged with director of worthington parks and rec, resulting in tacit permission to install tree phone v4. "can I have that in writing?" "absolutely not," replies director.
• 2021 : tree phone v4 installed.
• 2022 : tree phone v4 vandalized. kids these days.
• 2022 : tree phone v5 installed.
• 2023 : tree phone v2 removed by worthington parks and rec due to citizen complaint.
• March 2023 : tree phone v5 upgraded to become fully functional phone.
• March 2023 : controversy erupts on facebook neighborhood group surrounding ethics of tree phone v5.
• April 2023 : tree phone v5 fails due to rain damage.
• 2024 : experimental stump phone v1 briefly installed, then removed ahead of rainstorm.
• 2024 : tree phone v6 installed as fully functional phone.
• 2024 : local media covers tree phone v6.
• 2024 : tree phone v6 fails due to rain damage.
• 2024 : tree phone v7 installed as fully functional phone.
• 2024 : tree phone v7 fails due to rain damage.
• August 2025 : amazingly, an exact replica of tree phone v7 is found at volunteers of america. tree phone v8 installed as fully functional phone with vestibule and roof upgrades.
• 2025 : neighborhood facebook group manages civil discussion of tree phone without any trolling.

Final Thoughts:

The tree phone shares a land line with our house phone. This means that in the middle of a call, we could pick up the inside reciever and listen to you, or conversely, you could pick the the outside reciever and listen to us. While we initially felt this raised privacy concerns, we decided that 1. we are not going to listen to anyone's conversations and 2. even if we did, we are more trustworthy than the department of homeland security who are most certainly listening to your conversations. That said, if the idea of audio surveillence troubles you, consider using a different tree phone.